Monster is a deeply personal album that represents a specific moment in my life and career. Every song on this project was created with intention, honesty, and resilience, reflecting both the battles I face and the strength it takes to keep moving forward. This page exists to give you the full context behind the album, including lyrics, credits, and a closer look at what went into making Monster.
If you found this page through the CD, thank you for supporting independent music.
About the Album
Monster was created during a period of reflection, pressure, and persistence. It represents the push to keep creating through uncertainty, limitations, and internal battles that don’t always show on the surface. Rather than chasing trends or outside expectations, this album was built around authenticity, emotional weight, and honest storytelling.
This project stands as a snapshot of where I was mentally and creatively at the time, and it holds a unique place in my catalog because of what it took to finish it. Monster isn’t just about the struggle — it’s about surviving it and continuing forward.
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LYRICS:
1. The Call
2. Monster
3. Claustrophonic
4. Gravity Suit
5. In Slow Motion
6. Demon Within
7. Walk
8. Borrowed Legs
9. Invisible Fight
10. Mirror Talk (feat. G-Beanz)
11. Decades In
12. Flicker
13. Lost in the Static
14. Still Me (feat. Grace R and Chris Cox on guitar)
15. Porch Light
16. Jitters
17. Wires Crossed
18. Off Balance
19. Triggers
The Call
Sat in the waiting room, clock ticked slow
Hands on my knees, tried not to let it show
Magazines flipped, but I ain’t read a page
Every second in my head felt like a cage
People came and went, like life was fine
But my chest got tight, heart raced in time
Eyes on the floor, tried to block the noise
Thinkin ’bout my past, all the reckless joys
Kept hearing a name, but it wasn’t mine
Every cough, every step felt like a sign
Mind ran back to nights I used to feel free
Before the shakes, before pain started owning me
Breath held tight when the door swung wide
Nurse called someone else, I swallowed my pride
Tried to play calm, but my hands betrayed
Knuckles went white from the fists I made
The doctor said my name, then my whole world changed
Two letters hit me harder than a freight train
Life flipped fast, never felt the same
Everything I knew got stripped away
The doctor said my name, then my whole world changed
Two letters hit me harder than a freight train
Life flipped fast, never felt the same
Everything I knew got stripped away
Froze when they spoke, couldn’t find my breath
Two letters hit harder than a promise of death
Doctor’s lips moved, but I heard no sound
Just the weight of my life crashing to the ground
Walked out slow, like my shoes weighed tons
Rain hit the glass, but I still felt numb
Thought of every plan that I’d ever made
All those dreams now lined with shade
Sat in my car, staring through the haze
Hands on the wheel, lost in a daze
Every laugh, every night, every reckless game
Flashed through my head, but it didn’t feel the same
Looked at my reflection, didn’t know that face
Eyes gone hollow, couldn’t hide the trace
But somewhere inside, through the shock and pain
A voice whispered low “this ain’t the end of your game”
The doctor said my name, then my whole world changed
Two letters hit me harder than a freight train
Life flipped fast, never felt the same
Everything I knew got stripped away
The doctor said my name, then my whole world changed
Two letters hit me harder than a freight train
Life flipped fast, never felt the same
Everything I knew got stripped away
MonSter
The monster
I woke up one day trying to see my life a new way
The monsters in my head and the lesions fast they spread.
Would you like a hug MS will give you one.
Let me know how you feel after it’s said and done.
I woke up one day trying to see my life a new way
The monsters in my head and the lesions fast they spread.
Would you like a hug MS will give you one.
Let me know how you feel after it’s said and done.
I can’t walk gotta roll in a chair
cause my cervical spine got many lesions on there
It’s a common occurrence the fire breathes in the furnace
Raising the temperature up and it’s like they’re trying to burn us
Gotta keep the heat down cause the MS flares up
Man, give me some ice or something you should wise up huh
It’s all good you ain’t made the connection
Because my nerves don’t either like they missed the direction
I woke up one day trying to see my life a new way
The monsters in my head and the lesions fast they spread.
Would you like a hug MS will give you one.
Let me know how you feel after it’s said and done.
I woke up one day trying to see my life a new way
The monsters in my head and the lesions fast they spread.
Would you like a hug MS will give you one.
Let me know how you feel after it’s said and done.
Some of us can’t walk, some of us can’t talk,
some of us can’t breathe, and some are still in shock
I didn’t know what I was really in for
they said take some medicine the rain will not pour
But they were wrong cause the levy’s just broke
It’s all about the medicine in all the right dose
Will I ever be normal? will I ever be healthy?
Not unless I have status and become wealthy
It’s a wicked twisted game this thing they call healthcare
You need more than a wish and a hope and a prayer
Let me wheel out they say the show is going over
We gotta make light of this before time is over
I woke up one day trying to see my life a new way
The monsters in my head and the lesions fast they spread.
Would you like a hug MS will give you one.
Let me know how you feel after it’s said and done.
I woke up one day trying to see my life a new way
The monsters in my head and the lesions fast they spread.
Would you like a hug MS will give you one.
Let me know how you feel after it’s said and done.
Claustrophonic
Slide back slow, spine hits the rail
White lights hum like I’m trapped in a jail
Tech says “breathe,” but my chest say no
Brain runnin’ laps while my limbs won’t go
Click-click-clang sound cuttin’ through
Steel tube hummin’ like it’s huntin’ you
Close my eyes, try to fade to black
But the weight of the scan keep pullin’ me back
Air thin, thoughts thick, can’t stretch out
Feels like I’m buried, but I’m still above ground
Stuck in this tube with a war in my veins
Prayin’ this scan don’t show new flames
Half hour deep, still silent, still still
Nothin’ but magnets and raw nerve will
If the body’s a cage, then the mind’s a key
But the lock ain’t budgin’ not for free
Claustrophonic
Breath don’t flow
Claustrophonic
Steel halo
Claustrophonic
Locked in tight
Claustrophonic
Mind on fight
Heartbeat loud like a kick drum’s rage
Whole life shrinkin’ in a steel rib cage
Pulse in my throat, can’t swallow fear
Echoes of sickness bang both ears
Mind play tricks when the world shut tight
See faces in the dark, feel the flicker of light
Countin’ each buzz like it’s tollin’ a bell
Feelin’ my soul in a magnetic cell
Can’t twitch, can’t scream, can’t itch my skin
Just locked with the ghosts that rattle within
Hear my own breath like it ain’t my own
Trapped with my thoughts in a flesh-made zone
Is this hell or a test or a mirror of fate?
Would they even hear me if I broke this crate?
But I’m still here, still sharp in the grime
Claustrophonic stuck in time
Claustrophonic
Breath don’t flow
Claustrophonic
Steel halo
Claustrophonic
Locked in tight
Claustrophonic
Mind on fight
Claustrophonic
Breath don’t flow
Claustrophonic
Steel halo
Claustrophonic
Locked in tight
Claustrophonic
Mind on fight
Gravity Suit
Every day’s a mission, feels like dragging chains
Mind running laps while my body stays in pain
But I lace up my soul, yeah, I’m built for the strain
A king in the struggle, wearin’ scars like a name
Steps feel concrete, heart beats like a drum
Every breath a reminder of how far I’ve come
Gravity pulling hard but I never stay stuck
Even crawling forward means I never gave up
Hope in my chest even when the nights burn
Lessons in the weight, every stumble’s a turn
They can’t break a spirit that was born to endure
I walk through the fire knowing that I’ll rise pure
Weightless for a moment, I can almost breathe
Sun breakin’ through the clouds, feels like I’m free
Even if it fades, I’ll remember this view
Hope lives inside, even in this gravity suit.
Feels like I’m walkin’ in a gravity suit
But I’m still pushin’ through, tryin’ to find my truth
Every step feels heavy, like my legs might lose
But I’m built for this fight, and I refuse to choose abuse.
Weight hits different when you carry it alone
But I turned every burden into the bricks of my throne
Tired eyes staring at a world so cold
Still I move with a purpose that can’t be sold
Pain writes chapters but I hold that pen
Every loss just a setup for a future win
They doubt what they can’t feel, and don’t know this grind
But I live every second like I’m racing time
Even when I’m shaking, I refuse to break
This life gave me hell, but I’ll set my stake
If the road’s built tough, then I’ll carve my way
Leaving marks in the dirt saying I fought today
Weightless for a moment, I can almost breathe
Sun breakin’ through the clouds, feels like I’m free
Even if it fades, I’ll remember this view
Hope lives inside, even in this gravity suit.
Feels like I’m walkin’ in a gravity suit
But I’m still pushin’ through, tryin’ to find my truth
Every step feels heavy, like my legs might lose
But I’m built for this fight, and I refuse to choose abuse.
Feels like I’m walkin’ in a gravity suit
But I’m still pushin’ through, tryin’ to find my truth
Every step feels heavy, like my legs might lose
But I’m built for this fight, and I refuse to choose abuse.
In Slow Motion
Clock ticks loud, like it’s laughin’ at me slow
Crowds rush past, but my feet won’t go
Mind runs laps, body stuck in place
Still I push through the grind, no matter the pace
Every breath heavy, every step a fight
Carried worse pain, I’ll survive this night
They don’t see the war when I walk outside
Just a calm face hidin’ battles inside
Inside I’m screamin’, but I keep composed
Hands shake slight, but I don’t let it show
Storms hit hard, try to break my stance
But storms fade fast, I won’t miss my chance
World’s spinnin’ fast, I just plant my feet
Even slow motion, I refuse defeat
Grind through pain, no surrender in me
Every scar’s proof I fight to be free
World’s on fast-forward, I’m in slow motion
But I keep pushin’ forward through every emotion
Mind runs laps while my body’s still coastin’
Every step’s a fight, but I never stop goin’
Woke up sore this mornin’, but I laced up tight
Body movin’ slow, but my mind took flight
Dreams run ahead, I just chase ‘em slow
Even crawlin’ forward’s better than lettin’ go
Doubt creeps in quiet, tries to pull me back
Whispers in my head say I’m bound to crack
But I’ve pushed too far just to lose this ground
Every step I take still turns me around
Pain rides close daily, but I ride it back
Turnin’ every struggle into my own attack
Heavy days stack up, but they build my frame
Slow motion fights still feed my flame
World’s spinnin’ fast, I just plant my feet
Even slow motion, I refuse defeat
Grind through pain, no surrender in me
Every scar’s proof I fight to be free
World’s on fast-forward, I’m in slow motion
But I keep pushin’ forward through every emotion
Mind runs laps while my body’s still coastin’
Every step’s a fight, but I never stop goin’
World’s on fast-forward, I’m in slow motion
But I keep pushin’ forward through every emotion
Mind runs laps while my body’s still coastin’
Every step’s a fight, but I never stop goin’
World’s on fast-forward, I’m in slow motion
But I keep pushin’ forward through every emotion
Mind runs laps while my body’s still coastin’
Every step’s a fight, but I never stop goin’
Demon Within
I’m in environmental so you’ll never cure me
MRI scans can’t endure me
Spinal taps trace me, but they can’t erase me
I own your nerves boy face me.
You’re in my veins, but you don’t own me.
Every step I take still shows I’m free.
Spinal taps cut they push me to the brink
But I’m standing in the fire stronger than you think
Pain in my nerves, but I fight through shock
Every jolt you send only winds up blocked
You can twist my frame try to break my drive
But I rise every day just to stay alive
I’m the storm in your wires call me static incarnate
Doctors Chase shadows, but they can’t ever chart it
Environmental? NAH I’m personal doom.
Every muscle you move I’ll consume
Shock in my veins but I cut that line
Pain hits hard still won’t decline
Lock my legs, but I push I climb
Static burns out and I’m still on time
Fire in my chest, cause I breathe that heat
Every step I take is a small defeat
You can shake my hands try to twist my spine
But I stand my ground cause this life is mine
Demon within won’t let me rest,
Claws in my spine, teeth in my chest.
Still I rise still I fight
I live in the dark, but I hold the light.
You call it multiple sclerosis I call it a gift
I slow your legs twist your speech and make your spirit drift
Do all these tests keep guessing the code
I’m the devil in your veins and I live in your nodes
Gift? You’re a curse that I won’t accept,
Every move I make’s one you won’t intercept.
You can drag my speech, but I’ll force each word,
And I’ll speak so loud till my soul gets heard.
Tear at my legs, but I’ll stand through pain,
Every step’s a war, but I stake my claim.
You can twist my hands, try to steal my time,
But my heart still beats, and that pulse is mine.
I’m the weight in your bones, I’ll grind them slow,
The frost in your blood when your veins won’t flow.
I’ll steal your nights, turn your dreams to ash,
And I’ll laugh every time that your strength won’t last
Weight on my back, but I stand tall,
Every step I take, still giving my all.
Frost in my veins, but I burn that threw,
Every breath I fight is a win on you.
You can shake my hands, try to steal my will,
But my heart stays loud, and it beats out still.
You can slow my frame, try to break my climb,
But I rise each day, and this life stays mine.
Demon within won’t let me rest,
Claws in my spine, teeth in my chest.
Still I rise still I fight
I live in the dark, but I hold the light.
Demon within won’t let me rest,
Claws in my spine, teeth in my chest.
Still I rise still I fight
I live in the dark, but I hold the light.
Walk
Used to run the streets now I roll slow
MS hit me hard. Had to change my flow.
Legs lacking up like they scared to go
But my mind still sharp yo, I’m in control
Doctors talkin ish like they know my grind
But they ain’t in my chair they ain’t in my mind
Still hittin, life hard gotta let em know
You can break my body, but you can’t break my soul
Tired of the stares yeah I see em lurk
But I still crack jokes, make the pain less hurt
Wheelchair king yeah I claim that crown
Life tried to knock me, but I still stand proud
Rollin Rollin
Still standin tall though
Never foldin foldin
Walk walk
I wish I could
Walk walk
My legs ain’t good
Walk walk
I’m in a wheelchair
Walk walk
It’s just not fair
Every morning’s work just to stand straight
Body feelin’ heavy, but my will won’t break
Numb hands shakin’ while I tie these laces
But I keep pushin’ on, no matter what I’m facin’
Some days good some days feel cursed
Pain in my spine yeah I’ve felt the worst
Roll with the punches gotta take that hit
Still smiling though my body wanna quit
I fight every step like I’m battling war
Dreaming of the days I could run out outdoors
But I ain’t laying down that’s not my fate
Every scar I earn just proves I’m great
Rollin Rollin
Still standin tall though
Never foldin foldin
Walk walk
I wish I could
Walk walk
My legs ain’t good
Walk walk
I’m in a wheelchair
Walk walk
It’s just not fair
Walk walk
I wish I could
Walk walk
My legs ain’t good
Walk walk
I’m in a wheelchair
Walk walk
It’s just not fair
Walk walk
I wish I could
Walk walk
My legs ain’t good
Walk walk
I’m in a wheelchair
Walk walk
It’s just not fair
Walk walk
I wish I could
Walk walk
My legs ain’t good
Walk walk
I’m in a wheelchair
Walk walk
It’s just not fair
Borrowed Legs
Rollin’ past the doubt, leave it in my tracks
Every spin’s a win, I don’t need your pats on backs
Eyes stare hard like they never seen steel shine
But I glide smoother than half of y’all on two fine
Laugh when they whisper, “Man, must be tough”
I’m cruisin’ faster than they jog, ain’t that enough?
Rims kiss curbs like they’re beggin’ for fame
I pop a tilt back yeah, I own this lane
These borrowed legs? Nah, they borrowed my pride
I leveled up life, now I roll amplified
MS tried to cage me, but I bent those bars
Now I’m ridin’ like a king in a chariot of scars
Keep talkin’, keep watchin’, I’m ahead by miles
Every turn I take, I got that victory smile
These borrowed legs ain’t holdin’ me back
They’re the reason that I’m on this victory track
Borrowed legs, but I still get far
Wheels blaze trails, I’m a rollin’ star
Chrome flashin’ hard, no shame in the scar
Every push that I take’s a victory mark.
I roll better than you walk, facts don’t lie
While you trip on cracks, I’m just cruisin’ by
Spin game tight, got the corners on lock
You’re huffin’ up stairs, I’m smooth on the block
They say “slow down,” nah, I’m built for the chase
Wheels hum slick, leave a grin on my face
Your sneakers scuff up, my rims stay clean
Every push a flex, I’m a whole damn machine
You step, I glide, two different leagues
You sweat bullets, I coast with ease
Call it borrowed, but I made it my style
MS threw shade, I just rolled and smiled
Keep talkin’, keep watchin’, I’m ahead by miles
Every turn I take, got that victory smile
These borrowed legs ain’t holdin’ me back
They’re the reason that I’m on this victory track
Borrowed legs, but I still get far
Wheels blaze trails, I’m a rollin’ star
Chrome flashin’ hard, no shame in the scar
Every push that I take’s a victory mark.
Borrowed legs, but I still get far
Wheels blaze trails, I’m a rollin’ star
Chrome flashin’ hard, no shame in the scar
Every push that I take’s a victory mark.
Borrowed legs, but I still get far
Wheels blaze trails, I’m a rollin’ star
Chrome flashin’ hard, no shame in the scar
Every push that I take’s a victory mark.
Borrowed legs, but I still get far
Wheels blaze trails, I’m a rollin’ star
Chrome flashin’ hard, no shame in the scar
Every push that I take’s a victory mark.
Invisible Fight
Mornings hit heavy, legs feel like stone
I drag ‘em through fire, but I do it alone
No crowd, no cheers, just a battle with pain
Every quiet moment still screams my name
I laugh with the world, but my hands still shake
I fake it so well they don’t see what it takes
The nights feel longer than the days I survive
But I grind through the dark just to feel alive
MS don’t sleep, it creeps when it can
Cuts through my body, but I stick to the plan
Ain’t asking for help, don’t need your pity
Just respect for the war you’ll never see in me
Pressure in my chest, but I breathe it out slow
Mind locked in, even when my body says no
Pain don’t talk, but it screams in my head
Still I rise every time when they think that I’m dead
You don’t see the war that I fight each night
But I wake up swinging in this invisible fight
Scars you can’t see, but they cut me deep
Still I stand my ground, won’t accept defeat
You don’t see the war that I fight each night
But I wake up swinging in this invisible fight
Scars you can’t see, but they cut me deep
Still I stand my ground, won’t accept defeat
Some days I smile, but I’m breaking inside
Anxiety loud, got nowhere to hide
Depression creeps in, tells me I’m through
But I fight that voice like I always do
People say “you look fine,” and that’s the worst part
They don’t see these nights tearing me apart
I piss my pants, can’t control that shame
Still I stand tall, won’t let it kill my name
Frustration burns, I want to scream and shout
But I choke it all down, just grind it out
This war’s in my head, but I won’t lose pace
Every scar in my mind is a badge I face
Pressure in my chest, but I breathe it out slow
Mind locked in, even when my body says no
Pain don’t talk, but it screams in my head
Still I rise every time when they think I’m dead
You don’t see the war that I fight each night
But I wake up swinging in this invisible fight
Scars you can’t see, but they cut me deep
Still I stand my ground, won’t accept defeat
You don’t see the war that I fight each night
But I wake up swinging in this invisible fight
Scars you can’t see, but they cut me deep
Still I stand my ground, won’t accept defeat
Mirror Talk (feat G-Beanz)
Eyes bloodshot from another long night
Whisper to myself, You gon’ be alright
But the cracks in the glass show the truth I hide
I’m holdin’ it together, barely stayin’ alive
Every breath’s a battle, every thought’s a war
Smile for the world, but I’m rotting at the core
Tellin’ lies to my face just to make it through
But the mirror don’t fall for the fake I do
It stares back silent, like it knows my sins
Sees the weight on my chest, all the places I’ve been
I say you’re a soldier, but it shakes its head
Like it’s whisperin’ you’re breakin’, but you ain’t dead yet
Still I square my shoulders, try to stand up straight
Talk tough to myself just to challenge fate
But the glass don’t blink, it just calls my bluff
Sayin’, hold on tight, even pain ain’t enough
I keep walking and walking away
But this mirror, this mirror won’t change
I keep walking an walking away
Will this mirror remember my name
I see the pain, do I see the fight
Same old scars, in a different light
I’m not who I was no I’m not done yet
I see the future in the mirrors silhouette
Red eyes staring back, but I don’t look away
Mouth says “I’m fine,” but my face gives me away
Tracing every line like a map of my scars
The mirror shows the truth of who we really are
Fingers tap the glass, tryin’ to calm my head
Thinking ’bout the things I should’ve done instead
I talk low to myself just to keep the peace
But the mirror only answers with a cold release
It don’t blink, don’t move, just reflects my fight
Shows the weight I carry in the dead of night
I nod once slow, tryin’ to find that spark
Even shadows fade when you light the dark
So I breathe in deep, let the silence stay
Tell myself again, I’ll make it one more day
The glass don’t cheer, but it don’t turn aside
And that’s enough to keep the hope alive
I keep walking and walking away
But this mirror, this mirror won’t change
I keep walking an walking away
Will this mirror remember my name
I see the pain, do I see the fight
Same old scars, in a different light
I’m not who I was no I’m not done yet
I see the future in the mirrors silhouette
Decades In
Ninety-eight kid, learned the grind myself
RadioShack mic, no label help
Utica cold built my name in the grind
Local shops moving one disc at a time
Late-night labs, flyers in the snow
Mall cops trippin’, but I still would go
Built this name, no fake, all real
Twenty years later, still sharp as steel
One nerd kid with a dream, no clout
Respect got built by word of mouth
Catholic school days, never fit that mold
Underground roots, can’t be bought nor sold
Earned every stripe, took the harder route
Stayed independent, while the trends died out
Still got hunger, that’ll never fade
Decades in, and the pen still slayed
Decades in, still sharp with the pen
Paid all dues, now I’m back again
MS slow me? Nah, I still spit flame
Twenty years deep, still kill this game
MS hit, tried to slow me down
Legs got weak, but the mind stayed sound
Wheelchair rollin’, still I write these rhymes
Sharp as ever, just refined with time
Same old hunger, never left my chest
Two decades deep, still better than the rest
Trends come and go, but I kept that flame
Stayed true to the craft, never chased the fame
Still drop heat, no ghost, all mine
Built on skill, not a paid cosign
Streams worldwide, from them burned CDs
Earned my place, no luck, just these
MS life, but I’m still on pace
Every bar etched, like a scar on my face
Never tapped out, stayed real, no shame
Decades in, still kill this game
Decades in, still sharp with the pen
Paid all dues, now I’m back again
MS slow me? Nah, I still spit flame
Twenty years deep, still kill this game
Decades in, still sharp with the pen
Paid all dues, now I’m back again
MS slow me? Nah, I still spit flame
Twenty years deep, still kill this game
Decades in, still sharp with the pen
Paid all dues, now I’m back again
MS slow me? Nah, I still spit flame
Twenty years deep, still kill this game
Decades in, still sharp with the pen
Paid all dues, now I’m back again
MS slow me? Nah, I still spit flame
Twenty years deep, still kill this game
Flicker
Blurs in the mirror, ghosts in my gaze
Colors drip slow, like the world’s in a haze
Streetlights dance like they know I’m shook
Pages of the day get ripped from the book
Edges get jagged, shadows don’t play
Focus fades out like a dream in the gray
Eyes wide open but the truth feel blind
Signals get crossed in the back of my mind
Static in my vision, snow on the reel
But this ain’t my fight, that’s not my deal
MS in my spine, not behind my eyes
So I thank the Lord for this small surprise
Some folks wake up to a world gone dim
But my lens stay sharp even when it gets grim
I see their pain, still I empathize
But for this one flicker, I’m spared by the skies
World’s outta focus, frame by frame
Vision fade quick, but I see through the flame
Every blink’s a battle, light and dark collide
Flicker in my sight, but I’m steady on the rise
Noise in the world, but I tune that out
Vision stay locked, even through the doubt
Lines stay blurred, but my path stay true
Focus in the fog like a sniper’s view
Chaos outside, but I ride that calm
Storm in the sky, but I psalm that balm
Truth in the static, I decode the signs
Clarity born from the darkest times
Every glitch in the frame just sharpens the lens
Tunnel through the mess, still see how it ends
They lost in the glare, I stare through the shine
A world full of mirrors, but I’m reading the lines
Distorted reality, I don’t flinch
Balance in the tilt, not moved an inch
Eyes might flicker, but the fire’s precise
Still aiming for the peak with a crystal device
World’s outta focus, frame by frame
Vision fade quick, but I see through the flame
Every blink’s a battle, light and dark collide
Flicker in my sight, but I’m steady on the rise
World’s outta focus, frame by frame
Vision fade quick, but I see through the flame
Every blink’s a battle, light and dark collide
Flicker in my sight, but I’m steady on the rise
World’s outta focus, frame by frame
Vision fade quick, but I see through the flame
Every blink’s a battle, light and dark collide
Flicker in my sight, but I’m steady on the rise
World’s outta focus, frame by frame
Vision fade quick, but I see through the flame
Every blink’s a battle, light and dark collide
Flicker in my sight, but I’m steady on the rise
World’s outta focus, frame by frame
Vision fade quick, but I see through the flame
Every blink’s a battle, light and dark collide
Flicker in my sight, but I’m steady on the rise
Lost in the Static
Static in my mind, like a broken TV glow
Words get tangled up, thoughts runnin’ too slow
Tryin’ to tune in clear, but the signal won’t stay
Every time I lock a thought, it just drifts away
Fog in my head, like a storm on repeat
Memories glitchin’, loopin’ old defeats
I scribble every line just to find my ground
But half of what I write never makes a sound
Lost in the static, still searchin’ for the spark
Feelin’ out the dark, tryin’ to leave a mark
Each flicker of truth feels gone too soon
But I’m still holdin’ tight, hummin’ my own tune
Brain fog heavy, but I won’t sit still
Static can scream, but it won’t break my will
Even through the haze, I can see that light
Every faded thought’s just fuel to fight
Lost in the static thoughts cuttin in and out
Echoes in my head, tryin to sort the madness out
Lost in the static still fightin through the haze
Every broken signal just fuels another phase
Lost in the static thoughts cuttin in and out
Echoes in my head, tryin to sort the madness out
Lost in the static still fightin through the haze
Every broken signal just fuels another phase
Static creeps back, like whispers in the night
Thoughts skip frames, can’t get the timing right
Every plan I make feels stuck on pause
But I keep pressin’ play, no matter the cost
Glitches in my head, like a scratched-up track
Some days I lose the beat, and can’t get it back
But even when the noise tries to drown me out
I ride the broken rhythm, push through the doubt
Lost in the static, still climbin’ uphill
Every shaky step proves I’m here for real
The fog might linger, but it won’t define
The clear voice waitin’ at the end of the line
Brain fog heavy, but I won’t sit still
Static can scream, but it won’t break my will
Even through the haze, I can see that light
Every faded thought’s just fuel to fight
Lost in the static thoughts cuttin in and out
Echoes in my head, tryin to sort the madness out
Lost in the static still fightin through the haze
Every broken signal just fuels another phase
Lost in the static thoughts cuttin in and out
Echoes in my head, tryin to sort the madness out
Lost in the static still fightin through the haze
Every broken signal just fuels another phase
Lost in the static thoughts cuttin in and out
Echoes in my head, tryin to sort the madness out
Lost in the static still fightin through the haze
Every broken signal just fuels another phase
Lost in the static thoughts cuttin in and out
Echoes in my head, tryin to sort the madness out
Lost in the static still fightin through the haze
Every broken signal just fuels another phase
Still Me (feat. Grace R & Chris Cox on guitar)
Slow steps, but I still chase dreams,
World movin’ fast, I move in between.
Some see the chair, but they don’t see the fight,
Every scar’s a badge, and I wear it with pride.
Eyes on the sky, even when the night’s cold,
I ain’t who I was, but my heart still bold.
Love me for me, not the speed that I go,
‘Cause I’m still the same soul you used to know.
Faith in my soul, even when my hands shake,
Truth in my smile, even when the ground breaks.
Life tried to stop me, but I won’t let it show,
Still me, baby I just move slow.
Can you love me where I am, not who I was before?
Every step I take is worth fighting for.
I ain’t asking for much, just to know you care,
Stand with me, baby if you’re truly there.
I’m still me, even if I move slow,
Still me, love me or let me go.
Through the highs, through the lows, you should know,
I’m still me, baby that’s all I can show.
If you stay, we shine, if you leave, I’ll heal,
My body moves slow, but my love’s still real.
I’ve lost some friends, but I found my peace,
If you can’t ride with me, then let me release.
No pity in my life, just truth and grind,
I’m more than my pain, I’m a strong state of mind.
Hold me for me, not the weight I bear,
If you’re here for the soul, then I’ll meet you there.
Some days get heavy, but I still push through,
My heart beats strong every time I see you.
Every breath I take’s another chance to grow,
I’m still me, baby I just move slow.
Can you love me where I am, not who I was before?
Every step I take is worth fighting for.
I ain’t asking for much, just to know you care,
Stand with me, baby if you’re truly there.
I’m still me, even if I move slow,
Still me, love me or let me go.
Through the highs, through the lows, you should know,
I’m still me, baby that’s all I can show.
Can you love me where I am, not who I was before?
Every step I take is worth fighting for.
I ain’t asking for much, just to know you care,
Stand with me, baby if you’re truly there.
I’m still me, even if I move slow,
Still me, love me or let me go.
Through the highs, through the lows, you should know,
I’m still me, baby that’s all I can show.
Porch Light
Used to know this town like the back of my hand
Now I drift through the streets like a ghost with a plan
Faces blur, names fade like chalk in the rain
Still I smile through the static, hide hurt in the pain
I got snapshots left from a life I forgot
Some burned at the edges, some memories rot
Tried to trace steps, but the trail turned cold
Still I chase shadows like the stories I told
Every road sign reads like a foreign tongue
And the songs I knew now feel unsung
Tried to write it down, but the ink won’t dry
Every line slips through like a lullaby
Time don’t heal, just buries the proof
Digging through the dirt for a sliver of truth
Thought I heard my name in the whisperin’ wind
But it fades like a dream I was never in
Left the porch light on, but the path’s gone black
forgot where I’m going, tryin’ to find my way back
Pieces of me scattered in the rearview’s glow
But I’m still walkin’ don’t need to know
Left the porch light on, but the path’s gone black
forgot where I’m going, tryin’ to find my way back
Pieces of me scattered in the rearview’s glow
But I’m still walkin’ don’t need to know
I see faces I should know, but they slip my mind
Like a song on repeat with a missing line
They say “you were here,” but I don’t recall
Just echoes in frames on a hallway wall
I say “I’m doin’ fine,” but I’m feelin’ lost
Memories drift like leaves I tossed
Try to speak clear, but the words don’t land
They melt in my mouth like a fistful of sand
I retrace steps that don’t exist
Livin’ in a fog I can’t dismiss
Rooms feel strange, though I’ve lived there for years
I choke on calm, but I swallow my fears
They call my name, but it don’t sound right
Feels like a dream that slipped last night
But I walk this road like it still makes sense
Holdin’ on tight through the dissonance
Left the porch light on, but the path’s gone black
forgot where I’m going, tryin’ to find my way back
Pieces of me scattered in the rearview’s glow
But I’m still walkin’ don’t need to know
Left the porch light on, but the path’s gone black
forgot where I’m going, tryin’ to find my way back
Pieces of me scattered in the rearview’s glow
But I’m still walkin’ don’t need to know
Left the porch light on, but the path’s gone black
forgot where I’m going, tryin’ to find my way back
Pieces of me scattered in the rearview’s glow
But I’m still walkin’ don’t need to know
Left the porch light on, but the path’s gone black
forgot where I’m going, tryin’ to find my way back
Pieces of me scattered in the rearview’s glow
But I’m still walkin’ don’t need to know
Jitters
Legs kickin’ wild like they’re hyped on bass
Every jerk and twitch got a mind, no grace
MS clownin’, like, “dance for me, fool”
But I grin through the pain, won’t play by its rules
Feet tap quick like I’m stuck on repeat
Arms twitchin’ hard, but I still keep beat
Body on some nonsense, actin’ all slick
But I’m laughin’ at the joke, it ain’t breakin’ my grit
Shakes in my knees like a drumline snap
Every move off-time, but I’m cool with that
MS actin’ petty, tryna steal my shine
But I talk back loud, sayin’, “this soul’s still mine”
Every spasm hit feels dumb but true
Like it’s crackin’ bad jokes only I sit through
But I won’t tap out, nah, I’m built too tough
You can rattle these bones, but I don’t give up
Jitters in my legs, shakin’ all night
Body wanna dance, but it don’t feel right
MS trippin’, yeah, it thinks it’s slick
But I laugh at the pain, can’t break my grit
Spasms poppin’ off like bass in the trunk
Body got a mind of its own, straight punk
Yeah, it hits random, but I play along
Even got my twitch doin’ moves to this song
Mornings drag slow, stuck starin’ at the wall
Waitin’ on my aides just to help me stand tall
Feels like forever, trapped still in my head
Legs already dancin’ while I’m stuck in this bed
MS actin’ slick, throwin’ jokes I hate
Every tick, every jerk, yeah, it loves to frustrate
But I crack a grin, won’t give it that win
Even locked in place, I’m still fightin’ from within
Every shake it throws, I just flip to the beat
If my body wanna spazz, then I’ll make it look sweet
Turn the pain to a joke, let it trip all day
’Cause it can’t break me nah, I’m built this way
Jitters in my legs, shakin’ all night
Body wanna dance, but it don’t feel right
MS trippin’, yeah, it thinks it’s slick
But I laugh at the pain, can’t break my grit
Jitters in my legs, shakin’ all night
Body wanna dance, but it don’t feel right
MS trippin’, yeah, it thinks it’s slick
But I laugh at the pain, can’t break my grit
Jitters in my legs, shakin’ all night
Body wanna dance, but it don’t feel right
MS trippin’, yeah, it thinks it’s slick
But I laugh at the pain, can’t break my grit
Jitters in my legs, shakin’ all night
Body wanna dance, but it don’t feel right
MS trippin’, yeah, it thinks it’s slick
But I laugh at the pain, can’t break my grit
Wires Crossed
Woke up in the static mind buzzing like a live wire
Pain in my system, but it feels like my desire
Body says quit, but my soul says try
Every damn days just a test to survive
Nerves keep twitching I won’t fold under stress
Every steps a battle, but I’m built for the test
Mind over matter, even when the pain’s loud
Standing on my own two won’t back down
Scars on my spirit, but they’re proof that I fight
Dark days hit hard, but I still find light
Pressure on my chest, but I breathe it out slow
A warrior in the struggle and I want them to know
Some days I hate it wanna scream at the sky
Asking why me but the answers just try
Pain don’t care it just knocks at my door
But I swing right back. I’m not losing this war.
My nerves misfired my wires been crossed,
but I’m still wired to win survive at all costs
My nerves misfired my wires been crossed,
but I’m still wired to win survive at all costs
Wires crossed daily, but my will stays straight
Every setbacks fuel I just channel the weight
Pain tries to own me, but I won’t sign the lease
I fight for every moment just to find peace
Muscles lock tight, but my spirit won’t freeze
I move with the struggle, gotta fight through disease
Hope in my heart, even when the night‘s long
Broken wires, spark, but they still keep me strong
Tired eyes open, but I rise anyway
Each dawn another chance I won’t waste my day
Pain got a voice, but I drown out the sound
Cause I’m still in the ring and I won’t stay down
Some days I’m pissed. Yeah this life feels unfair.
Cursin at my body like it don’t even care
But I grit my teeth, take the hit and stay strong
Cause quitting ain’t an option I’ve been fighting too long
My nerves misfired my wires been crossed,
but I’m still wired to win survive at all costs
My nerves misfired my wires been crossed,
but I’m still wired to win survive at all costs
Off Balance
Steps crooked, floor feels like waves,
Head swimmin’ heavy, but I still stay brave.
Walls tilt left, mind screams “sit down,”
But I laugh at the fall, I ain’t kissin’ that ground.
Vision blur quick, heart pound double-time,
Grip tight rails, still climbin’ that line.
Every sway’s proof I ain’t stoppin’ my run,
World spins wild, but I fight ‘til it’s done.
MS try to dance me, twistin’ my frame,
But I two-step back, still playin’ this game.
Knees buckle fast, but my will don’t shake,
Even tilted on edge, I won’t break.
Tip to the side, but I’m locked in strong,
Every wrong turn just writes my song.
Off balance, yeah, but I walk that fire,
Stumble or spin, I still climb higher.
Off balance, world keep spinnin’
Fallin’ through the fight, but I’m still winnin’
Tip to the side, still standin’ tall
Off balance, yeah, but I won’t fall
Dreams slip quick like rain on glass,
Every plan I draw up cracks too fast.
World throws curves, tries to spin me out,
But I dance through storms, never filled with doubt.
Paths all twist, no straight-line roads,
I juggle my weight while the pressure explodes.
Every wrong turn just sharpens my aim,
I trip, but I’m steady in this crooked game.
Haters talk loud, try to shake my stance,
But I turn every shove to a victory dance.
Life lean heavy, pushin’ me wide,
But I tip to the side and I still got pride.
Lost my grip, caught air mid-fall,
But I learned how to rise when I lost it all.
Balance might fade, but my fight won’t die,
Even off-center, I still touch the sky.
Off balance, world keep spinnin’
Fallin’ through the fight, but I’m still winnin’
Tip to the side, still standin’ tall
Off balance, yeah, but I won’t fall
Off balance, world keep spinnin’
Fallin’ through the fight, but I’m still winnin’
Tip to the side, still standin’ tall
Off balance, yeah, but I won’t fall
Triggers
Shots inside my system, sudden and cold
Jolts hit fast, no warning, lose control
Body locks tight, but I breathe in slow
Every time it fires, I won’t let go
Twitches in my fingers, shake through my frame
Each spark burns hot, but I fight that flame
Grip my hope tight when the pain runs deep
MS keeps firing, but I won’t retreat
War I never wanted, stuck in this fight
Clips unload heavy all through the night
Stand through the pressure, even when it gets rough
Every shot it takes, I stay built tough
Nerves keep screaming, trying to break my will
But I hold steady, yeah, I’m standing still
Load up my spirit, keep my head on straight
MS can fire, but it won’t dictate
Body pullin’ triggers that I can’t control
Nerves spark wild, yeah, they take their toll
But I load up hope, and I still reload
Every shot they fire, I won’t let go
Body’s on fire, don’t care what it takes
Pain pulls the trigger, I won’t hit the brakes
Legs lock up, but I still move slow
Even when it hurts, I won’t let go
Jolts run wild, don’t ask me why
MS plays dirty, but I won’t comply
I talk back to it, yeah, I stand out loud
You can shoot all day, but I won’t bow down
Nerves go crazy, they don’t play fair
I hold my ground strong, don’t care who stares
Shake through the hits, yeah, I hold my ground
Every shot you take, I’m still around
I fight with focus, I fight with grit
MS can swing, but it won’t make me quit
Load up my mind, keep my aim locked true
Fire what you want, I’ll outlast you
Body pullin’ triggers that I can’t control
Nerves spark wild, yeah, they take their toll
But I load up hope, and I still reload
Every shot they fire, I won’t let go
Support the Album
If you’re listening to Monster digitally and made it this far, thank you. Independent music only works because of people who choose to support it directly.
Physical copies of Monster help keep this project alive and make it possible for me to keep creating. If you want to support the album beyond streaming, you can grab a CD directly from my site.
CDs include 4 exclusive tracks not available on streaming.